


Puppies and Christmas

by TheSigyn



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23109208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSigyn/pseuds/TheSigyn
Summary: “Do you really see yourself writhing on Riley’s lap all where your watcher can hear you? Do you see yourself devouring him with kisses right in front of your precious Scoobies? Jumping and riding him in the middle of a slay? All of that happened. And it didn’t happen with a good man.” Missing scene in Doomed. Buffy really did do an abrupt about-face about Riley, didn’t she?
Relationships: Riley Finn/Buffy Summers, Spike/Buffy Summers
Comments: 7
Kudos: 69





	Puppies and Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Because I really need to post a story tonight. Betaed by bewildered and EllieRose. Thanks, guys!

The five of them scrambled their way out of the ruined high school, Spike trying to stay behind and out of sight, and Xander and Willow lingering after nostalgically, which left Buffy walking next to Riley. 

“So… that was the apocalypse,” Riley said. “Wasn’t that hard to deal with.” 

Buffy fumed. “Yeah, well, the concept of _the_ apocalypse gets a little blurry on the hellmouth,” she said. “Sometimes I figure it’s not just one thing.” 

“So you think there are more of those demon guys?” Riley asked. 

“No,” Buffy said. “I think things will be calm for a little while. Until the next… thing. Whatever that will be.” She sighed, world weary at nineteen. It was never over. The world was always in danger, and she was always the one who had to try and solve it. Riley was shuffling his feet as they moved out of the building to the neglected school grounds. They walked slowly into the open. 

“So, um... uh....” Riley looked flustered.

“Yeah.” Buffy felt awkward.

“So. You do this kind of thing a lot?”

“More than you can possibly imagine.” She glanced behind him. Spike was lurking in the doorway, using the opportunity to stay out of Riley’s sight. Not surprising. Since Riley was one of the commandos who'd captured him, there was no telling what would happen if he recognized him. Maybe Riley would take him again. Which ordinarily Buffy would suppose was a good thing, except Spike had put himself under her protection, in a way, and it didn’t seem fair to send him to have god-knows-what done to him in some underground bunker. Not after everything they’d been through together. Even if he was evil and she hated him. 

“Do you always dive in head first like that?” Riley asked. 

“That’s the only way to do it.”

“A little forethought never hurts,” Riley said. “Some backup. A safety string.” 

“Yeah. Uh, thanks for that,” she said grudgingly. She didn’t want to admit that Riley had helped. 

The dive down into the hellmouth had been last-ditch-effort, but hadn’t been as one-way-trip as Buffy had at first supposed. Good thing, because there was no way she’d have been able to catch the demon if it had been, physics in freefall not including things like falling-faster-so-you-can-catch-demons-out-of-the-air, even if you’re the mystical chosen one, terminal velocity being the same for everyone. Buffy had figured just letting Riley attach the cord was quicker than arguing the laws of physics with an army boy, (or a psych grad-student, if that wasn’t just a cover) and had planned to just unhook the stiff cord, which was liable to snap her in half if it had gone taut while she was falling. Fortunately, after a couple of yards the shaft had zig-zagged, and she and the demon had actually been scrambling down rather than falling, and she was faster than the demon at a diagonal scramble, so she’d been able to catch him. Which meant that Riley’s nifty commando gadget had actually been useful in climbing back up. She’d have been able to do it without him, but it would have been harder and taken longer, so Riley actually had helped... which.... Dammit. Getting him to believe he was going to get killed was gonna be even harder now.

“I was happy to help… Buffy,” Riley said, and he moved in as if to take her hand. 

Buffy took a step back. That was so not what she wanted just now. 

“Is he joining the Scoobies now, or what?” Xander asked, coming up behind them.

“No,” Buffy said firmly. 

“Uh, what’s a Scooby?” Riley asked. 

“Nothing,” Buffy said. “Look, you need to go home. Thanks for your help, it was really, um, helpful. But it’s all over now. Nothing to see here.” 

“Buffy… it’s not over, I need to….” He stopped and looked at Xander and Willow. “We can’t let civilians… I mean you and I need to….” 

“Go home,” Buffy said. “It’s late. Okay? We just need to go home.”

Riley looked bewildered, glancing at Xander and Willow again, back at Buffy, then down at his own outfit, frowning. “Can’t I walk you back?”

“No!” Buffy snapped. “You don’t get it, do you? This is what I do, okay? Every day. I don’t need to be walked back.” She grunted, exasperated. “Please,” she begged, her tone softer. “Please, just let me go.” 

He sighed, resigned. “Fine,” he said. “Fine, whatever. I’ll call you, or something. So we can… uh….” He gestured, helpless. “Fine.” He turned around and walked away from them, heading back toward the campus. 

Buffy heaved a sigh of relief. Then she worked a couple kinks out of her neck and looked past Willow and Xander. “He’s going. You can come out now, Spike.” 

Spike slunk out of the school building, his eyes watching Riley’s back. 

“Does he really have to go?” Willow asked, looking after Riley. “I thought you liked him.” 

“I do like him, it’s just… not of the good.”

“Really? I was kind of hoping maybe there’d be something… Buffy-type about him.”

“He was kind of heroic with the swooping in and saving everyone,” Xander said. 

“Like I did nothing,” Spike muttered. 

“You did worse than nothing,” Xander said pointedly. “You sacrificed a demon and brought us that much closer to the apocalypse.” 

“Well, how was I to know?” Spike said. “It’s not as if you said anything to _me_ about it, just to your birds here.”

“I said it to everyone, the demons are the sacrifice.” 

“I was getting hit in the face at just that moment. Must have missed it.” 

“Hey, I got hit by the demons, too.” 

“Oh, shut up, it doesn’t matter,” Buffy snapped. “We all fought the demons, we all did what we could. Even if Spike did make everything worse.” 

“Hey! I’d have got that last one for you if I hadn’t been beamed in the head by bits of falling architecture.” 

“Instead Riley had to help,” Willow said. “Are you sure you’re not down with the heroics of him?”

“I’m sure,” Buffy told Willow. “He thinks this is a job or an adventure or something. I can’t date another demon slayer. You know what happened last time.” 

Spike made a noise in his throat. 

Buffy glared at him. “What?” 

“You tell yourself that, slayer, if it makes you feel better.” 

“What would make me feel better is getting you back to Xander’s and chaining you up again.” 

“Wouldn’t it, though?” Spike said with a smirk. 

“Be nice, Buffy,” Willow said. “He’s all grievey and suicidal.” 

“For your information, I’m past that now. For that matter, I’ll catch up with you later.” He turned and slouched across the school grounds. 

“Hey, wait! Where is he going?” Buffy asked Xander and Willow. 

“Search me,” Xander said. 

Buffy ran after Spike. “We can’t just let you go off on your own.” 

“Why not?”

“Well… because you’re dangerous.” 

“He’s not, actually,” Willow pointed out. “Well, except to himself.” 

“I told you, I’m past that,” Spike said. “I just got my rocks back. If I can kill, then I’m still me. Thought I might go find some other demons to take down. But not in this clown suit. I’m going shopping.” He strolled off. 

Buffy watched him go, feeling strange about it. She couldn’t just let Spike walk away, could she? “Maybe we should go after him.”

“To watch out for him, or watch _out_ for him?” Willow asked. 

“Well, I’m out,” Xander said. “The last thing I want is to watch Spike try on clothes. Willow?” 

“Um, well… if there isn’t an apocalypse happening, someone really ought to go check on Giles. He’s all bloody headed and woozy.” 

“I guess I’ll stick with Spike,” Buffy said. “I don’t really trust him free-range. I’ll bring him back to your place when he’s done shopping.”

“You don’t have to,” Xander said. “I’m perfectly all right Spikeless. Later, Buff. Good apocalypse stoppage.” 

“Yeah,” Willow said. “I’ll see you at home, Buffy.” She ran after Xander. 

***

Buffy had had to trot to catch up with Spike, who hadn’t waited for them to sort stuff out. He’d raised an eyebrow as Buffy caught up to him and fell into pace at his elbow. Now they were downtown, near the magic shop, but it was late, and everything looked closed. Spike looked like he was heading for the menswear store on the corner, but it was dark. “I don’t know where you think you’re going to shop,” Buffy said. “I don’t think there’s an all night store except by the highway.” 

“Every store is all night if you hit it right,” Spike said. 

“What do you mean?” 

Spike slouched to the side of the building and approached a nondescript service door. He knocked on it a couple of times in a couple different places. 

“Do you know of some secret all-night clothing clerk who caters to vampires?” Buffy asked. 

“No.” Spike said. “I just know how to hit a door.” And he hit the service door hard, making it buckle around his fist and the lock snap out of its casing. The door swung on its hinges. 

“Hey! You’re stealing?” Buffy demanded. 

“Yeah,” Spike said, as if it was obvious. “What are you going to do about it, slayer?” 

“Well… I mean… I’ll stop you.” 

“Go ahead.” He held his arms out dramatically, the flowers on Xander’s Hawaiian shirt showing stark in the streetlights. “Well? What are you waiting for?” he said after a moment. “Dust me, slayer, go on with you.” 

This wasn’t how she’d expected this to go. She thought she’d argue, and he’d stop. She didn’t think he’d just ask for death. So Willow wasn’t joking about his death wish. She considered just dusting him then and there, but she didn’t have a stake on her, having left it in the heart of the demon at the school, and the trouble of subduing Spike and finding one would take time, and Spike shrugged and sauntered into the darkened shop without giving her a chance to think about it. “Hey, wait,” Buffy said, feeling flustered. “You really shouldn’t do this.” 

“And you shouldn’t let me,” Spike said. “But here we both are. Because I am not going to stay dressed like this, and I don’t have any clothes. And the only way you’re going to keep me in this ridiculous getup is if you send me blowing in the wind.” He made his way through the back room and into the store proper. Dim light shone through the window from the streetlamp outside. “Now, swimming in eternal hellfire, I could deal. Dressing in Harris’s hand-me-downs for one more minute, that I can’t live with. I’m not going to kill demons dressed like a crime against couture.” 

“Like I believe you’re going to go kill demons.” 

“I’ll kill anything!” Spike yelled, desperation tingeing his voice. “Anything. _Anything._ I would kill _anything_ at this stage.” He paused, took in a deep breath, and smiled briefly. “But first I have a nip of shopping to get through.” He turned to the clothes and held up a pair of blue jeans, measuring them to his waist. He tossed them back down messily, and then to her surprise he took off his shirt. His pale skin shone in the dim light, and god, but he was cut. Buffy’s eyes went wide. 

“What are you doing?” 

He didn’t seem to realize he looked like a posing GQ model. “Getting dressed, what’s it look like?” He started to wrestle with the drawstring of Xander’s short pants. 

Buffy squeaked and turned her back. Spike chuckled. “Don’t want a look at the goods?” She heard clothing rustle, jeans snap as he shook them out. “Don’t pretend you didn’t cop a feel under that spell of Red’s, because I remember your fingernails pretty well.” 

Oh, damn him for bringing up that spell. Lurking in the dark with Spike half naked was not when she wanted to be reminded of all those kisses. “That wasn’t real.” 

“Real as anything _you’ve_ had,” Spike said petulantly. 

“That was gross and disgusting and don’t ever bring it up again.” 

“Trust me, you’re not going to bring up anything on me,” Spike said, and Buffy blushed in the darkness, remembering things she had definitely brought up, and felt underneath her as she’d sat on Spike’s lap during that spell. Things that had pulsed under her in ways that had made her flutter inside. Damn Spike. She looked around to see if there was anything to stake him with, but all the hangers and hooks holding the clothes seemed to be metal or plastic. She sighed. 

“So you’re with the commando bloke, now, are you?” he asked. “That mean you don’t need me as your informant anymore?” 

“You were never informing all that great.” She looked down at her nails to stop herself from turning around and looking at Spike. “And I’m not _with_ him. I’d never be with him.”

“Oh, wouldn’t you?” 

“No. He called me stupid and self-involved.”

“So, he _is_ getting to you, then?” 

Buffy scoffed. “How do you figure that?” 

“Undermining your confidence to get up your skirt? Sounds right up your alley.” 

“What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing, just that it works. Grabs your attention, makes you wonder what he doesn’t see in you, makes you want to prove him wrong. Angel used to pull that bollocks all the time.”

“He did not!” 

“What, you saying he never did that to you? Said he’d expected you to be better, faster, nicer, nothing like that?” Buffy’s jaw clenched, because of course Angel had. Back when he was still all mysterio guy he’d frequently say he’d expected her faster, or that she couldn’t manage to hunt something. It had irritated her and made her want to prove him wrong…. That couldn’t be the same as undermining her confidence to manipulate her, could it? 

She scoffed. “And you never insult people.” 

“Not when I’m trying to win them, I don’t,” Spike said. “When I insult someone, I expect them to stay insulted. If they start loving me for it, I wonder what’s wrong with them.” He paused, and Buffy could feel his eyes burning on the back of her head. “So what’s wrong with _you_?” 

“Nothing,” Buffy snapped. “I told you, I’m not with Riley.” 

“Seemed pretty friendly to me. Maybe his confidence dig worked. Understandable you think that’s flirting. You are a messed up, self-possessed, tedious bore with a stake up your arse.”

“And are you flirting now?” 

“No. Besides, I could do far better than call you stupid.”

“Oh, would you?” 

“Oh, yes. I’d do something really cutting, like tell you the truth. That you could never be in a real relationship with anyone, let alone an upstanding citizen like your commando job.” 

“Sure I could!”

“Not with someone human. Your Riley’s human. And you’re not interested, are you?” 

“Sure I am!” Buffy snapped, more annoyed at Spike than she was at Riley. 

“Didn’t look like it to me. You were awkward and irritated and you wanted nothing more from him than for him to get gone.” 

“You can do that with people you’re interested in. Even if you don’t want to date them.” 

“So you do like him, then?” 

“Well, yeah.” Buffy flung her arms out. “I mean, he’s got really, really great arms. And his chin is, like, well-chiseled. And he’s tall. And he’s a gentleman.”

“How, because he tied you up like a spider with that rope of his?” 

“No! Because he said he’d back off if I wanted him to. That he wouldn’t force himself on me.” 

“Like that was an option?” Spike asked. “Ooh, he’s not a rapist. Does he want a cookie?” 

“And he’s not an evil vampire,” Buffy snapped, refusing to listen to that last bit. Spike was just trying to piss her off, now. “He’s _human_.” 

A low chuckle crept up Buffy’s spine. “Yeah… but that’s not what you want, is it?” Spike said. He came close up behind her, his voice like velvet. “You like them dark, and dangerous, and room temperature.” 

Buffy whirled on him. “I do not!” He still wasn’t wearing a shirt. She nearly turned around again, but at least he had on jeans and a belt. Buffy kept her eyes firmly on his face. “I like my men good.”

“ _You_ liked Angel.” 

“Angel _was_ good,” Buffy snipped. 

“Angel was all sorts of things,” Spike said low. “But he was never good.” He moved in closer, his face half in shadow, his chest gleaming white like carved marble. “And you don’t want that, anyhow. You want to get down and dirty with the nasties of this world.” 

“I do not.”

“Do you really see yourself writhing on Riley’s lap all where your watcher can hear you?” Spike purred. “Do you see yourself devouring him with kisses right in front of your precious Scoobies? Jumping and riding him in the middle of a slay?”

Buffy’s heart was in her throat. She wanted it to be anger, but she wasn’t sure it was. “None of that was real.” 

“All of that happened,” Spike said. “And it didn’t happen with a good man.” 

“That was a god damned spell,” Buffy said firmly. 

“It was what you wanted,” Spike said. “Maybe not me, but the rest of it? That was you. And Riley’s not what _you_ want. The boy scout isn’t your style. You don’t want them good.” 

“Yes, I do.” 

“If you did, you’d be after Major Mayonnaise, and you’re not.” 

“Yes, I am!” Buffy snapped. “I totally am! I really do want Riley, I just can’t have him.” 

“Oh, can’t you? And why’s that?” 

“Because it’s doomed. It’s too dangerous, he’ll get hurt, he’ll--”

“If that’s what the problem was, it would have been a problem _before_ you learned he was a demon hunter. Not after.” 

“Just because I can’t have him doesn’t mean I don’t want him.”

“If you wanted him, you’d be after him.”

“No, I wouldn’t. Because I know better.” 

“If Angel wanted you, he’d be with you,” Spike said, his voice hot with anger. “If you wanted Riley, you’d be with him. But you’re not, because that’s not what you ever wanted. You’re the slayer, and you want something dead and dangerous all up in your cunt.” 

Buffy’s fist closed and she clocked him. He glowered and tried to hit her back. He barely got his arm up before he screamed and staggered, going half down to his knees. Buffy was mad enough at him she shoved him the rest of the way. 

“What the hell?” he complained, clutching his head. 

“Well, what did you _think_ was gonna happen?” Buffy demanded. 

“I was just... checking, all right?” He dragged himself into a sitting position.

“You’re a monster, Spike,” Buffy snarled down at him. “Don’t pretend you know me. You never knew me. You know nothing about me.” 

“I knew what you wanted under that spell,” Spike said bitterly. “Do you really think that all went away?” 

Buffy wanted to kick him, but instead she steeled herself. “Yeah, and what were you under that spell? Helping Giles, hunting demons, writing wedding invitations? That wasn’t the real you any more than it was the real me.” 

Spike’s jaw clenched. “Don’t pretend you know me either, bitch.” 

Buffy was taken aback. What was he saying? He couldn’t possibly have been saying that that was the real him, all that snuggling and helpfulness. 

Something almost connected in Buffy’s mind, something strange and frightening and ugly, but it didn’t have time to blossom. Suddenly the whoop of a half blown siren blared outside the store, and Spike looked up as red and blue lights glared through the window. With a quick snatch he grabbed a handful of black shirts and pushed past Buffy, leaving Xander’s clothes behind him on the floor. 

Buffy stared bedazzled at the lights for a moment, her mind racing. How did they know? There must have been a silent alarm. She should stop Spike and let them nab him… but that would alert them to demons, and besides, she was standing in the middle of this store, too. Without another thought she dashed out the door after him, feeling like the criminal she technically was. 

She caught up with Spike down the alley, and was held up by a wooden fence. Spike grunted as he pulled himself over, hampered only a little by the handful of black shirts clutched in his fist. When he got to the top he held a hand down for her, and she took it without a thought, scrambling up and after him as they raced down the next street. 

“Running from the cops,” Spike grunted as they ran. “Not very goody-two-shoes of you.” 

“Like you can talk,” Buffy snapped. “You think this is the first time I’ve ever stolen something?” 

“I thought you were the good guy.” 

“I am the good guy!” 

“Then why don’t you _want_ the good guy?” 

Buffy stopped him and threw him against a brick wall. One of the shirts fell from his hand. “Hey, watch the goods!”

“You know what?” Buffy glared into his face. “You know what I’m going to do tomorrow? I’m going back to Riley and I’m going to get exactly what I want!” 

“And that’s Commando Cornflake, is it?” 

“Yeah!” Buffy snapped. “Yeah, it is! Because I don’t want something ugly or dirty or sordid or criminal! I want something pure and good and beautiful! And I’m going to find it!” 

“Good luck with that, sweetheart,” Spike said. He tossed himself off the wall and pulled his remaining shirt over his head with a grunt of satisfaction. “You’re going to need it.” 

***

“It’s the end of the world,” Riley complained when she came to see him the next day. 

“No,” she said. “It’s not.” She came up deliberately and sat herself on his lap -- Riley’s lap, his nice, clean, sensible, not-evil lap -- and kissed him, warmly, softly, ready for something pure and positive and good. 

When she stopped, Riley looked up at her, his eyes shining, his strong chin pensive. “That was unexpected.” 

“No,” Buffy said. The kiss had felt right. Comfortable. Solid. It took away the taste of Spike’s vampire kisses and grounded her firmly in the real world. “That was exactly what I expected.” She put her arms around Riley and sighed. This was good. This would be good. It was good. Because it had to be what she really wanted. 

What did Spike know, anyway? 


End file.
